OxyMoronic

OxyMoronic

Silent, but loud. Hungry yet full. Betrayal and anger enters my heart like a raging bull. Single and alone, but sinfully married. Our relationship is dead, but my feelings aren’t buried.

Smart, but ignorant. Wise and immature. Given everything he wants, but he still craves more. Avaricious but generous, his heart is coldly hot. Designed to live at the bottom, but destined to die on top.

Disappointingly satisfied. Quenched but still thirsty. Happiest in your life, but your heart is still hurting. Unhappily cheerful, yet sullenly smiling. As excited as a grounded pilot suddenly flying.

Convicted and set free. Hated but still desired. Fired before the interview, and afterwards, hired. Beautifully ugly, with an undesirable attraction. Like eating your favorite meal deriving no satisfaction.

African Caucasian, white but acts black. More confusing then opinionated facts. Verbally mute. Lying yet true. So many willing to kill, but willing to die? Few.

Illuminating darkness, courageously scared. With twenty-twenty eye-sight, your vision is still impaired. Extraordinarily normal, like a fireless flame. To cheat on your wife, and feel no shame.

Losing victoriously, but remorsefully proud. You gave it your all, so quietly scream it loud. Like a childish adult. Or a savage punk. A dumb nerd sleeps with more women then a smart Hollywood hunk.

Commonly outlandish. Regular, but ceases to amaze. To gaze backwards into a maze, stuck in a daze. Fearfully brave, and pleasantly mad. To look forward into the mirror disregarding your back being stabbed.

Curiously uninterested. As my heart was closed open. Hurting worst from the words that were never spoken. See you again? Eventually never. How clever is a drought that brings raining weather.

Selfishly giving. Directly dishonest. To stare me right in the face, and on my life, lie on it. I spoiled you fresh. You rotted me ripe. You made me feel so inadequate, like I wasn’t worth my life.

Losing you was my unwilling sacrifice. A religious man without faith. A soul without energy. To give everything you have, be laughed at… left with nothing but your dignity. You did me right wrong, no matter how you try to flaunt it. I still love you, and you hate me, pretty oxymoronic.

Heart's Broken...Stay Strong... Smile

How do you tell the heart to stop feeling?
How do you separate the lie from the truth?
How do you stare at the sun but don’t feel warmth.
Why is your sky dark, but everyone else’s is blue?
Or why do I continue to hold on to someone,
Who has obviously moved on from me?
They aren’t my destiny, we aren’t meant to be.
I’m nothing to them but a distant faint memory.
Two of the women I gave all of my heart to,
Both are separately living my dream.
One had a baby, and the other one is married…
Those were my goals, my life, and my family.
Once I found out the news, my stomach cringed.
My eyes watered up quickly, but I dared not cry.
I was famished, but then, my appetite faded.
My life suddenly ended, except I didn’t die.
How can a heart, that’s already broken, break?
Now, I’m more alone then ever.
Waiting, seeking, searching, hoping…
But it seems my heart will be broken forever.
But I’m stronger then just another sad poem.
I wrote this one, and I didn’t know where to start.
I’m strong but so many burdens,
I don’t think anyone could live with what’s on my heart.
With visions of a past of a dream that didn’t last.
Poems of heart break, poems of anger.
Poems of pain, poems of selfless heart,
Being held back by a selfish anchor.
But when most would just lie down, give up.
I got up, and will continue to work hard.
Because I was made different right?
I was made in the Heavens, amongst the stars.
That’s exactly why I can deal with so much pain.
The stuff that would drive a normal man wild.
Stare adversity right in the face,
and even though on the inside I’m defeated… I smile.

The 1st and Last Blog of 2010

It’s New Years Eve. A night where people get with there families and friends, go to parties, drink, and bring in the New Years with noting but smiles on their face. What am I doing? I’m sitting in my room, writing a blog, lonelier then ever, depressed in my own sorrow. Thinking about this past year of my life, how I lost the one woman I loved more then life its self. Drove another one crazy, ruined another potential relationship with one of God’s beautiful princesses. Then gave up on one who put up with all of my stuff because I wasn’t man enough. All of those just burn in my heart. But in 2009 I also published a novel, was a wonderful big brother to my sisters, was there more for my friends and family, but yet I’m here, alone. I could be at church, praying for forgiveness, and thanking Jesus for another year. I could be at a party, or at a club. But instead I choose to be alone. For 2010, I’m not making any resolutions other then to be a better man, become more financially independent, and just really try to enjoy life and be happy instead of thinking of these past sad memories. I have no poem for them, so to those trial and errors in 2009 I apologize if I ever hurt you. I apologize for everything. And to the one, you know who you are, and if you know me, you know who she is, if you ever see her, tell her that I’m sorry, tell her that I miss her, tell her that she is, was my hearts greatest desire. Tell her that now that she’s moved on, my life just isn’t as happy as it could be. Tell her that she is still my soul, and although we aren’t meant to be, she’ll always be my BeautifulSoul, and that I love her more then I love myself, and I hope that life is everything for her. And it saddens me that I have to move on from someone I feel so strongly about… but that’s life… I love you. Everyone who is reading this, have a happy new year, and remember, if you look into the mirror and don’t like the person you see, just change… and everything that’s meant to happen will, as long as you start by loving yourself.

~Vensin Gray

Welcome To My Blog!

First off, let me introduce myself, my name is Vensin Leonardo Gray, the author of The ProChrist and the founder of the website www.vensingray.com a website that features the poetic talents of other poets accross the world. My journey and dream is share my work, and other work with the world.

There is SO MUCH TALENT OUT THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And if you are undiscovered, let Vensin discover you, join me on my website, www.vensingray.com

In this Blog, I'm going to be blogging about many different subjects and topics that directly and indirectly affect me. So thank you for reading my blog, please subscribe to it, make your comments, e-mail me your thoughts and suggestions at VensinGray@yahoo.com or VensinGray@gmail.com and we can make it happen!

~Vensin